So, here's Christmas.

Well, I'm not someone whom is fond on comparing but.... this year's Christmas was extraordinary.

Cause I got to spent it with....

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. oops wrong one! :D

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with this awesome friend :D

So, here's what happened....

we got together in this three days...

the -1 day of Christmas, was spent walking around city area looking for lights. After we had our xmas service and lunch. I'm glad that this cheerful idiot decided to bring me along to spend christmas with me. To be hosnest, to date, christmas has never been anything important to me. Besides being invited to xmas parties, its just a normal day to me. So yeah, I was overjoy when the day came to an end as we snuggled in our santa hat and walk all the way back to the train station to catch our train back home. At the same time, my heart was dampened, I realized i had no plans for tomorrow! and how it would let down my friend.

The 1st day of Christmas, the morning was well spent of sleeping as my dear friend had somehow fall sick and had giddy spells, as i woke up, i rushed off to ikea to prepare my little surprise. By the time i got home, I had to start preparing for the first surprise of the day, a mini amazing race. Grabbed my markers to draw directions and quickly prepared the prize. She was cursing me by the time she found me, but lucky my hand cooked noodles made her smile and this is when i thought i really suck at planning such stuffs. bleah. The day was later spend in church and we had our dinner somewhere, i cant really remember. But the night was spent in festival park lightning candles, but a huge gust of wind wiped out everything so we had to make do without the flames. Still, Christmas was memorable as we took many photos together, and acted like a couple, teasing each other on the way.

The 2nd day of Christmas, as she had projects to do, I was able to sleep in that day and around 5, we met at festival park for our little boxing day, it was a mess, literally, we started smearing cakes on each other's face and soaking each other with the little bottle of water we bought at the nearby minimart. The two of us were just like little kids that would never grow up. As the sun set, we bought our dinners and headed home.

Well, that summarized my Christmas.

and to my dear then crush, now girlfriend.

i love you, forever and always.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

Its funny how just taking one step, everything may just change. No, I'm not talking about small changes but changes which would change everything. Ironically just one wrong step would be the end.

I'm very much a strong believer of predestine, everything is planned. But that won't stop me from fighting for what I really what. And even if I don't get what I want I would still pick myself up with a smile and get over with it. For at the end of the day, what's most important is the process of learning and not the result.

Oh, Christmas was of cause awesome, spending with the special someone <: I will come up with the updates soon! Promise!

Trusting the never ending

Awesome. Volunteering just hit rock bottom again. I'm starting to think that 'non-profit' organizations are all bullshit. -.- the next time I help someone I will render aid to those people in need directly. Freaking idiots screw yourselves.

Value-ship

Here I am in the truck on the way to Bukit Timah Hill. My mind is oozing with lots of question and it all comes down to value-ship.

I realised that this world is one which is kind of selfish. Perhaps it's just me but... I don't know. Without valueship I really can't find any motivation to do anything. Independent really seems so vague to me now.

Sadly but true that I'm really starting find 'giving without returns' impossible. Strictly speaking there is really a limit to how much one could give. And that limit is decided by none other than what others could give in return.

'Treat others the way you wish to be treated' is one of those many household quote you would hear from your parents. I guess it's how we are bought up. It is a fact that we only do good just because we want something good in return.

I guess the least I ask for is just valueship, no I won't stop giving. No matter how cruel this would may be, I would try, and if I fail, I would try again. A change has to be done.

But thankfully, I'm given much more than that I ask for. And for that I am grateful.

Its been a while

Wow looking back I haven't touch this for quite a long time! So dear reader, yes just one, here's for today. :)

I got a couple of words stuck in my head right now. One of which is

Abundant of Joy.

:) need me explain more? Well I'm not one bit old school but this is just too much of a cliché.

Every night after seeing you home the stroll back home is something that really excites me. I can't just help but wonder how things would turn out the next 'alternate' (idiotic rule -.-) day which I get to see you home. As memories of the day flashes though my mind I just can't help but smile wondering why I didn't knew you earlier. Yes, I'm thankful of everything. Every single awaits a new hope. So thank you.

Well, I guess I've known you for quite a while, almost for a decade (gosh, we're really getting old huh! Haha) but all that we've talked about is just...

How to complete our racial harmony project? And maybe some trivial nonsense.

But it was till early this year, that everything seems to have changed. I'm sure that my life has changed, you? I guess it did too, right? :)

I could still remember the seoul garden meal which has brought us closer. Perhaps it was not that but your every words to ask me our and watch movie with you and Nabilah. Especially the ridiculous movie HOP that we've watched.

And the many a times when we had our first tuition sessions at Akip's house where you would poke me and doodle on my paper to encourage me to study. -YOU STILL OWE HER MONEY!- Many a times you would annoy me just to get me to talk to you.

Also the time we became 'colleagues' or rather slaves where we had to get people to fill in a road long form just to get 5 cents. And the encouragement you gave me to approach strangers.

The time we had during english tuition and teaching Siti stuffs that she doesn't know.

The long long vacation which we spent on each other with. Trips to library, movies, meals, beaches, camps and even outside Singapore. Fragments of our conversation still lingers in my mind.

And the many times we lend our hands to help those whom are in need. Helping others without anything in return. Hoping that the world wound become better with our little actions. Don't give up on that dream. It would work out.

Planning class outing and going through all the pains just to get people to come. Buying the food, making sandwiches. Creating games which failed. :D

The many many competition we had to make each other better. Bento, gifts, and many other retarded ones.

These were all the happy times. What really amazed me was our '7 years' friendship was theoretically form in less that a year.

Throughout these '7 years' we've been through a lot like I've said. These were the happy times, but there were also bad times, for me, for you, for us. But it all worked out pretty fine, no matter how bad we're at cheering people up, somehow we still manage make each other feel better. And for that I am thankful.

All I wish pray and hope is for you to share your worries, sometimes I really can't help but feel that I don't understand you well enough and there is nothing I could do to make you feel better. And I'm sure you had felt that way too before. So please would you?

Turn of tides

Bad things are continuously reoccurring lately. Its all weird that most of them look so inevitable. The feeling of getting caught off guard is just not my style. I just wish that this would all end soon.

Dwindling Dream

My dream had always been to help others. Sharing, Loving, Caring. No person in this world should be deprived of these. Something that humanity should embrace upon.

Sadly, it is something not that simple.

I've been devoting much time participating in volunteering work in the past two weeks. I'd say that they all had their learning points. From baby sitting to fund raising then to house cleaning and more fundraising. What great ways to spent a weekend. I do very much realised that my actions would surly benefit those whom are in need, till...

This little conversation we had with Dorin, I could really see that in this world, it is really easy to be lead astray than to do good. She had really painted in my mind a world pitched black, a world with woes, problems leading to more problems. Something, somehow gave me a 'helpless' feeling, a feeling like no matter how much I do there would still be people whom are stuck in dip-shit, to a point where everything is like so pointless. It seems to me that I had done a lot, a lot to help others but rendering help is not a one time, two time process. It is something that required commitment, something that you do out of pure goodwill and not receiving anything in return. I do wonder what makes me so willing to help. Perhaps I already had a miracle in my life. Despite the many circumstances that I had gone through which would had eventually lead me astray, somehow I manage to workout the correct one. And yes I'm thankful for that. Many a times, at junctures where I face difficulty, someone would surely point a direction for me. Yes I'm grateful.

And for you my friend, you may had not been as lucky as I'm. Having to face what I call 'little hiccups' in life. I still remember something you said, "I believe in a person's life a person would experience equal amount of good and bad." So stick on to it, stop dwelling in the past for there is more good days to come. I'd just like to make a note that at any point, should you face any problems, dilemma, what so ever or maybe just someone to talk to. I'd gladly answer.

Perhaps I could be the "pillar of strength". (:

preocupado

I SHALL RANT! >:(

Hi you, yes you, don't go mia and said nothing happened again. I was worried stiff, noticed that I would usually be more of concern than worried. But yes, as the hours passed my brain starting going bonkus and the usual optimistic mind of mine had ran away. Bad thoughts started filling my mind. Maybe if I hadn't took a glimpse when you were crossing the road all this would not had happened. Questions of 'what if's...' started popping out in my mind, real nasty ones. An optimism mind is something really had to gain, yet it is something really easy to be lost. Perhaps like what you had said about Janney, I too had also lost this mentality.

Oh well, at least you're fine now. Well, at least you said you're, but if you're not please please please, do share. I'd gladly listen. For now. I'm just wondering when I could actually have my lunch.

kids again

Thinking back of my childhood days two person had always been vividly captured in my brain. I guess my childhood has been one that one could call 'bittersweet' perhaps, if it hadn't met with turbulence where my dad passed away. I would not have had such a great relationship with this two person.

1. Uncle Mike

To my dearest uncle, you had been one great person in my life. Together with my then Aunt, the both of you took great care of me especially when my mother was busy working. Although I was often send packing to here and there for sleepovers you were the one that actually gave me family warmth. I could still remember the two of us staying up late just to shoot some turkeys in South Park and that Christmas present you had for me its still lying intact in my room. Perhaps, you may have changed now, to someone better, a loving father of two, or otherwise. But still, in my heart you would always be the same old uncle that I had.

2. Crystal Yeo

She had been a great friend. Perhaps our 'common plight' brought us together. I'm sure we had many wonderful moments together. Minus-ing all unnecessary details, I would like to give you my heartfelt thanks for making my childhood a memorable one. And hopefully our friendship would go for years to come.

All this came about when I was doing the childminding programme yesterday. I guess it had been an overall successful event and would not had been possible without the help of lovely volunteers. So thankyou. Without this event maybe I would have never thought of my childhood again. I'm starting to think that I'm naturally well loved by kids. I don't know, but the feeling they gave me, it's so warmth. Its the first time that I had actually organised an event with a group of unknown people, so I guess I really took back a lot from this. Something that I would call, learning from mistakes. Taking a step back to look, think and evaluate. I'm sure it would be better next time.

hysterical laughter

Yesterday is memory. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

today had been a lovely day. rushed to econs lecture early in the morning with a mouthful of peanuts. Something special happened today...

Thinking that the class would break into our usual cliques and each have our lunch. We actually went out in a whole big group to have lunch together. A whole lot of us, all together. Lunch, was, awesome.

After lunch, we went back to school to continue little chats while waiting for our CDS to start, the usual awkwardness broke down as countless conversations started pouring in. I have to agree, I'm starting to love my class a lot. Perhaps, I'm not heartless. hmm...

Then I went off to do little bits of my psychology project with my group, another group of lovely people. Everyone seems exceptionally friendly today! We could actually get along, and even started little chats on our life. The meeting ended about 10 minutes later as we found out that there isn't much to be done I then went back to my class while the rest made their way to have lunch.

Soon, it was almost two. And we had to make our way to our respective classrooms. I actually had quite a few opportunities to talk to D today. Not to say that we hated each other but rather, we are those hi, bye friends. Yup, after our casual talk on the way to our CDS, I'm starting to feel that shes actually a cheerful and friendly person.

Like always, Psychology tutorials are the most engaging lessons ever! Ms Emilia is a mad lovable teacher. And OMG I think I'm a genius, I could actually remember 15 items from a short memory test after being read only once. I was the only one in the class that did it WAHAHAHA. ._. okay perhaps, I'm not that smart, I subconsciously applied mnemonic to help me remember. <: Class was soon over after we submitted our video to the project and I left with JK to one stop and wait for miss little sotong to end her class.

We then went around loitering as she insisted that I should have my dinner before I head home as there was no dinner at home. And knowing that I would not leave house to buy dinner. So I got poked everywhere while we went to Simei and the malls in tamp to 'shop' for our Christmas gifts. Still, I had absolutely no idea what to get for her. Sigh.

Perhaps, this may be the reason for not being able to receive Christ.... hmm...

Hazy Melodramatic

Today I've heard stories about how life is rather cruel. A young lady whom sold her child away. And a grandmother lying dearly sick in bed. But what is there to complain?

I was wondering deep in my mind, how could someone actually sells her own child away to another. Imagine your own mother selling you away. We all say that life is priceless, so much for that. But, taking another perspective, who knows what had the mother went through? She could have jolly well aborted the baby and be held not responsible. Yet, she choose to give life and then shoved the responsibility away. Who am I to say which is a better decision? Perhaps she had done her best to salvage the situation. But I'm sure the vague image of her child imprinted in her mind would haunt her forever.

A loving grandmother that was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. How unfair is that? Someone whom had worked tirelessly her whole life to support the family, don't she least deserve some filial piety from her children. A well deserved reward. Yet she has to be placed in a procedure this friday. I just pray that she would pull through.

A perfect display of irony in life. I wonder how mine would be. Hmm... Perhaps, Disney story's are all just nothing but a fairytale which would never happen.

Great it's 2:26am. I can't sleep after a text came in. :(

Shores of the Moons

Today had been a really mundane day, I could just slept the whole day if my clique didn't ask me out. I could really say that the rain was a huge turnoff. But eventually I was dragged out of house. On my way to the train station my umbrella flipped and holes started to form. Drenched. ): Yup yup, the initial plan to visit AFA failed, so we just traveled to simei, tamp and pasir ris to do window shopping. I could say it's really one of the failed outings. But oh well, we still got to catch up and that what made everything perfect.

Despite being really down, cause I was listed as a number 1 irritant. I shall try not to rant. >:(

After much theoretical thinking of mine. I have came up with certain facts that proves nose pinching is actually beneficial!

Theory 1, prevents nosetrills from growing bigger. so you won't stiff up bad stuffs!

Theory 2, the pressure allows blood flow! so it won't freeze!

Theory 3, it makes your nose grow taller!

Theory 4, stuff won't come out from your nose, cause you would sniff everything in after each pinch!

Theory 5, pinching noses does not make me weird, cause I'm perfectly normal ):

As conclusion this sucks. ): I just realised I'm not making any sense, but to get you to bed I shall just post this and not delete anymore.

Body aches ):

Requiem of dream

So here's what you get,
A bottle that's filled with hearts and stars that are flat
You may not comprehend its meaning yet
But i hope you'll look at it when you are sad

The stars are just like hope
Giving you will so you can cope
Sprinkled with glitter, and so they shine
I hope with them, you'll soar up high

The stars are just like dreams
Filling the skies which are bursting at the seams
If you fail, just look up high
Smile and say 'i'll do just fine'

The hearts are just like love
A gift you have, which i believe, since birth
Spread the love, and your arms to others
Just like all other loving fathers

The hearts are just like joy
A feeling toddlers get when they receive a toy
Always be happy even when you are down
Because being sad will only make you frown

Stay strong in everything you do
It may be hard, but i believe in you
Do not give up when all else is failing
And all you will soon get is a successful feeling

So for a lovely friend like you
Stop pinching me before i give you the 'boo'
Realising my poem doesn't make any sense
I just want to say 'happy 11/11, my wonderful friend!'

Hm, a poet to be.
I realised we got a common flaw, thinking that we don't make sense. HAHA. hm, actually maybe we don't. Running around like idiots. :) oh well.
Sometimes, I just can't help but wonder why I didn't get to talk to you much when we were younger. Haha.

Tinkles of happiness?

God knows what a girl is thinking.

Hm. Are you angry? Like seriously. If you're angry...

I'm sorry :(

But..

HAHAHAHAHA. You're not right? :(

I shall hope, pray and wish.
Oh, happy 11/11/11!

SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT PLEASE, I CAN'T SLEEP.

F for faith.

:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3

Smile! :3

bailed out on me.

Sigh, everything seems to be fine till this annoying little text came in. Perhaps, its a reminder. :)

Let's just go ahead and let what come may come.

And now I'm left thinking what I could get with a dollar.

Compendium of Illusionism

a perfect illustration of ....

C'est la vie

I dreamt of a perfect world. It was so realistic, every inch is detail is seeded in my brain just as if I had really experienced it.

It all started with a lovely day where I left house to buy a meal for myself, somehow I had a bicycle and went to buy food at the nearby hawker. Surprising it was owned by my chemistry teacher! Omg?

Oh, and before that I left my wallet on my bicycle, it was filled with cash, and I just left it there open. But of course, the money would be gone when I'm back right? Yes, it was gone, and there's even a note saying 'it's empty! <3' yup I was robbed woohoo. Didn't felt angry or anything!

BUT just when I was checking to see if I have lost anything else, I saw a 50 dollar note in the other compartment of my wallet, which wasn't suppose to be there. weird.

Then came across mellow field. It wad a land of green painted with shades of purple lavenders. Far ahead was a little cottage.

And this is where my annoying alarm clock started to ring I woke up with a smile finding myself stuck in reality again. Perhaps, one day we would all find our lives, made much more simple. More fulfilling.

This post may make no sense. Its just a little bit of me grumbling about life :3

But to think of it, say god gave us a choice to choose and not be a mindless being. I guess life might not be that interesting without the downsides right?

POINT IS I WAS MARKED ABSENT TODAY :( sigh.

Hi.

If life was a dream. It would be a land of pig brains!

:)

Silent Voyages

It the midst of the week, many things had happened. Life has been colorful so far, just a few more days I'd be stumped with questions of God again. Could this be what they meant by God's will. Well then I might just well look forward to this weekend then. <: Perhaps, God would guide me.

Oh while uploading the clouds formation which I took days ago I also found this beautiful photo in my phone! I'd name it ''The Name's Tale''

.....drum rolls.....

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TADAH!

HAHA, there, the very first picture in your new spectacles. Don't you think you look awesome? I know you want to thank me. Welcome, don't mention it. <: oh, if you want to know why I name it that way please cook me a meal to ''unlock'' the answer.

Leap of faith.

November had always been a fun month, its has always been a pre- holiday month to me. But not this year. Not especially when exams are just weeks away.

It is time to take a step, wake up and leap into faith. All would be better. :)

Creations

I wonder how could human beings create such sophisticated sculptures and buildings. Looking around the world in different light seems like I was brought to an entirely new place.

Yet we could see many people destroying what they were given, perhaps, if the world would to end now and let another race rule maybe it would be a better place.

zealot

My granny is asking me to go for church services again, I'm fine with that.

But to baptise?

hmmm...

No I'm not running away but..

argh. screw this. the migraine is coming back to kill me ):

dream house!

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home. ~ Mother Teresa

My dream house seems so fairy tale like. I remembered someone told me its impossible for me to fulfill this dream, such would not be possible in Singapore! But in other places, I'm sure one day I'd fulfill my dream. To lead a simple and peaceful life after my retirement. The thought of reading a book under a dreamy star filled sky, this feeling is... inexplicable.

Oh like in my previous post I woke up early in the morning today travelling all the way to Bras Basah to Kum Yan Methodist church. I guess it a missionary as well as providing welfare to one room flats rented from the government by old people. So After the briefing and stuff we set off in a mini bus and ended up in North Bridge Road where the government, houses these people.

oh and I just received a text that says I'd be ignored for one hour ): sigh. THIS SUCKS. ):

Looking around the place I'd say they are given quite a great condition and facilities! Heres what they got.

A beautiful garden with loads of exercising areas!

High rised apartment flat!

A canteen area by volunteers for food at practically no charge!

Gym facilities!

karaoke plus many many other activities room such as chess!

Omg their like so good right! Like living in condo sia everything is just located under their void deck! All they need is a swimming pool and its on par with a normal condo flat! Got chance I also want leh. Their rental only 100 dollar per month includes all utilities bill and somemore can ask volunteers from downstairs to clean their flats at no charge!

So yup, we broke up into small groups and went on with the main purpose, I was grouped with my grandma and another old lady. She was a rather friendly lady rather healthy too, even at the age of 75 she could walk unaided. The first unit was at the 9th floor, we went there to meet a granny which they had once visited before, although it was not the first time visiting old folks living in one room flats its the first time for me to actually step in and mingle in their home. I'd say everything is well provided and one room is ample for them, but there won't be extra space for anything more than a bed, a cupboard and a Tv rack. Something like our very own chalet in downtown east. But like the nature of old folks to keep stuffs, even unnecessary ones their house would likely be packed with tons of trash which they deem as valuable and as waste to throw them away. I took this mentality in when I was on my way up.

Upon knocking the door the group of three was greeted with a warm smile and she cordially invited us in to chat up further. We went in and the 3 old ladies started chatting about their life, seemly friends which had met long long time ago. Like a usual conversation, old people would usually take about 3 points.

• Their Past.
• Their Grandchildren/Children.
• Their Health.

They were speaking in Cantonese making it hard for me to join in, not that I don't understand Cantonese but phrasing chim sentences kills loads of my brain cells and it was still early in the morning. I'd rather sit back and listen. While the threesome continued, I peered around the house trying to see how limited space was. Without the divider that the old lady placed up I'd say the room is only like 250 sq ft? I could only give a light smile and nod in agreement when they mention and gave me eye contact.

But it's kind of pitiful for such old folks to live alone in such flats, having no one to take care of them. Some even at the age of 98 lives alone in this little room of theirs. Their physical needs are often answered by the volunteers but what about their other needs? Upon talking to them many of us could see that they are generally unhappy, unhappy about many many things, being lonely is one of the common issue. They had lived alone for so long with no family members, no kins, no friends, no one to confide into. Having to bear all their problems they face, they worries, no one could share their burden. ): If this happened to me I won't know what to do. Life would indeed suck, suck to the fullest. Let's just pray that it won't happen...

Did I mention that their house is filled with gadgets to prevent and observe their safety? Their house even had a movement detector to ensure their safety and any unusual activity would be reported directly to the control station below their block! They also had alarms and emergency bell which they could press and an ambulance would be directed to their aid immediately!

The duper loud siren outside each of their units.

All of these would not have been possible without these passionate volunteers from Peace Connect! http://www.pcnl.org/about_us.html

We then went back to the church and had a 'holy' debrief. It was kinda weird where The Lord is mentioned in every single like they speak. ._. Thereafter I brought my grandma to bugis street and ate Lerk Thai since shes mad over Thai food.

wanting yet never achieving

Oh look its so early! 8 plus in the morning! Hahaha.

It has been a week since school started. Everything seems so, smooth sailing, perhaps its time to work even harder this semester not just to make up for the last but to enrich myself with all that knowledge which I want to learn.

I wouldn't say that I did not try to study for the last sem but I just couldn't score well. Maybe its time to put in that extra bit of effort in scoring!

Oh and to that lovely friend of mine, I guess bits and pieces of your past are pouring back to haunt you again. Sigh. But I'm sure you would pull through again! That's for sure. Let's just hope and pray that all goes well for the medical report! :)

Why does she deserve all this shit. Life is unfair. But what does not kill you, makes you stronger right? :D

let no destination be the destination.

SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DANDELIONS! WOOHOO.


Sometimes it's just better to let nature take course, knowing too much just makes life boring. :> let the wind carry where we may go.

Somehow, we flew out of Singapore today. So fun right. 25/10/11 shall not be a sucky day. hi, it didn't suck rightttt? ):

After a long long time of rotting, crapping and eating instant noodles, we decided to go ahead with our trip to Pulau Ubin as the sky was rather clear. I guess the bus ride there was rather boring as someone, decided to be sleepy and not entertain me ):

first picture of the day! Look its flowers, I guess someone is really starting to love flowers! :3 and not cut of the tail of lizards.

The wait for the boat was rather long and we started taking photos. While the Caucasian couple started ranting about how bad the ferry service was, I guess it was rather true.

loook its my Porsche sunglasses from Indonesia! 10 bucks nia!

oh and here's the girl with motion sickness trying to not vomit!

Sadly it started drizzling, but it only lasted during the boat ride! We arrived and went biking. I'd say the biking experience was rather fun, if only I didn't have to catch up like 90% of the time ): idk how someone could paddle so fast. kns. and and and if we didn't get bitten by mosquito along the way. We cycled without any proper destination though and ended up in dead ends. Then, she started grumbling about being hungry and we decided to go back for seafood horfun!

I'd say that the horfun there was rather nice, like the last time I ate, the seafood there is really fresh! And heres what we did while waiting...

look at the hungry goblin. x.x

After lunch we decided to return the bikes and explore by foot instead. And again, the destination was to see a proper sunset by the beach. Which had failed in the past few days. Okay. Looked up the map and decided on Noordin beach, a beach at the extreme north end of Pulau Ubin. The walk there was rather tiring as it was about 3km? adding up with our tired legs. Imagine! Soon, we were at the beach! Not the best sunset but still, it was worth the walk.

The skys suddenly darken as the clouds moves in, we decided to hasten our pace. Thanks for dragging me out of that place. :D haha. So we made our way back to the jetty and boarded the boat. 'Last' boat too. lucky us? <:

We made our way back to the interchange and I was so hungry that I had to stop by the famous changi village market for some food. The carrot cake was a turnoff I must say, but but but the satays are rather appealing to me, maybe I'm just hungry. Idk.

OH HI WE SHARED A KIT KAT. <: it cost me 50 cents!

The way back was rather quiet, as she decided to be sleepy and not talk to me again, apparently staring out to the window was more fun. Kidding! I dozed off and shortly after, I found myself in Tampines. Waved goodbye at her void deck and that marks the end of 25/10/11.

P.S. When will you level up and piggyback me when I'm tired ):

deja vu?

I guess somethings we would only experience one. Exams anxiety is one of them.

Woke up early in the morning today and went to her house. Sadly her prepaid died. And I forgot to save her house number. I stood outside the door for quite a while trying to wake her up with the pathetic door bell. With the neighbour giving me constant weird glares.

After A WHILE, we left house and went to have breakfast, no lunch, at 201. Had Mac, again. Shortly after, we wished each other good luck and waved goodbye! While she was on her way to Dunman, I went home as I was having runs. ._. Saw J under my block again. Pulled myself together and went to Pasir Ris Sec, Paper 1 was rather a killer, I think I'm gonna score rather badly. There goes my A. Sigh. Picking myself up, I went back in to take Paper 2, I felt it was rather okay as most question were attemptxable. Hopefully I would do well! #fingerscrossed. Henry appeared at the school gate once I was dismissed started questioning about the exams and took my scrips. He is one good teacher I'd say, someone whom is more worried for me than myself.

In between all this, many of my friends taking O levels texted me for updates. I guess thats what we all did during our Sec 4 days. hmmph. Oh did I mention that ah yam was in the same exam room as me. Thank god he didn't recognise me or he would pester me again talking all about D.

Had dinner and went for a hair cut. Then went home. <---- abrupt ending due to poor information feed. (might edit soon)

plant a garden, believe in the future.

awesome quote that I stumbled upon today.

Life is indeed full of possibility,

Who knows that she would be so tired that we won't go for the event at Poi Cheng School.

Who knows that we would meet for lunch at 3+.

Who knows that I would have Ayam Panggang for lunch.

Who knows that we would go to UrbanWrite.

Who knows that she could not find her pen.

Who knows that we would go to the MRT station.

Who knows that we would decide to go to Botanic Garden.

Who knows that we would go around taking many funny photos.

Who knows that we would go to the orchid garden and take artistic photos.

Who knows that there were places such as the cool room - that is literally cool -.

Who knows that we would see swans.

Who knows that we could feed fishes there.

Who knows that we tease each other while walking.

Who knows that she suffers from mild night time blindness and can't see my face ):.

Who knows that we would make our way back by train.

Who knows we would have dinner at some coffeeshop near our houses.

Who knows that I'd walk her home.

Who knows if her mum would nag(in a concerned manner!) at her for coming home so late.

Who knows if she had enjoyed her day?

Bon Apetite

Woke up super early today just to pack everything for the little mini-competition we decided to have! Everything was frozen solid as my maid misunderstood my words, if only I could speak better Indonesian! Texted miss little sleepyhead and realised she was still sleeping so I decided to go back to sleep while the food defrost.

When all else fail, pop by at the door and spam the doorbell! Right that was what I did. AND I was greeted by a puffy head girl all dressed up in Pajamas and hugging her plush. Wish I had a camera! Haha.

Messed around with the laptop while thinking where to hide the present while she went to bathe. And after a minutes I went exploring in her room and got caught by her. Suspicious she went to ransack her room thinking I already hid the present! #dummy <: After blasting music we went down to meet TJ. He practically targeted me with, why is he here ._. tmd. k nevermind.

Then we went up to cook a hearty meal, maybe not so hearty. Sigh. Grumbles. We cooked so much that her siblings had to eat with us! Haha. Oh did I mention that Nicholas said hi to me. Awkward much.

Here comes the beach, where could we find a better sunset besides the beach right! Sadly we went to Pasir Ris Beach which is at the Eastern side of SG. So, no sunset ): but time spent there was still fun! Walking around with a broken slipper. <: Backtracking a little, on the way to the beach while waiting for the bus, I asked for the rating of my food, sadly I only got an 8/10 cause of the semi burnt ebi fry ): and I joking ask if she wish to know about hers. She didn't want an answer, saying that I'd criticise her cooking.

Still HERE it is. HI YOU, I'd give you a 9/10! I mean, you really did well for a 'first' timer. Not counting the chaotar food you made during FnN right! <: And cooking the rice is no easy task I'd say. <-- LOL. But there is always room for improvement! THANKS FOR THE MEAL <3 As dusk fell, we took many photos and that concluded the day. life, made simple. :>

picture of life.

I just wish he was cuter than me. ha. ha. ha.

Happy Birthday Grandma! Hope you liked my present! Haha. I really can't thank you enough for taking care of me all these years! But words are nothing compared to actions right!

a good person

I've been pondering about this question the entire day.

What does it mean to be a good person?

The first question that came to my mind was if I were a good person myself?

No doubt, it was a yes. No further explanations needed. Not trying to boast or whatsoever but I'm a good person alright. x.x

Next was this, what is a good person?

I felt that somehow, a good person is one whom could bring change to the world. Change for the better. I don't really think its really possible for every single 'good' person to change the world, so I brought it down to changing one's life. A good person would be helpful enough to help even a stranger without any thoughts of benefits. Somehow I felt that I'm yet to be a good person, although I have the intention of helping people, I might withdraw my intentions if there were reasons.

The last question that came to my mind was rather weird, why would a good person want to do good?

To be honest, this question stumped me. I think there are no true reasons for one to do good. It seems something magnificent and yet inscrutable. Many told me that what influenced them to do good is that they had once received someone else's goodwill. That did not happen to me, at least not that I know of. Hm, it's all weird, maybe I'd find out one day. But for now, I'd just stick to my principles of living and help as many people as I could. Sounds noble to me. hmmph.

what a weird day.

Wish upon a star

It has been days since I got back to home, but I hadn't rest a bit. sigh. Been trying my best to work something out with Jasmine for our Adhoc event. It's like the first VL-adhoc event so there's much pressure put on us from the people on top. Everything had been well, we managed to gather out volunteers for this little childminding event planned by CDC.

So we made our way respectively to Tiong Bahru Mrt where the 'eyes' from above Wei Bin was waiting for us. His one nice guy.

Oh oh oh, did I mention that on our way to the center which is about 10 mins walk away, everyone was so orderly! We are practically walking in twos. Hahahahahaha, the CSC culture as someone once told me. So we reached our destination lead by Wei Bin as J and I only know the route roughly. We went in to the center and to our surprise, we weren't expected there.

There had been much miscommunication between the organisation and us. J and I went to talked to the staff there, and found out that the meeting was cancelled. The email was sent to J 10 in the morning but she didn't had the chance to read it. All hell broke loose, we made 9 person travel all the way here and the meeting is cancelled.

But not all hope is lost, the staff there were rather friendly people. We negotiated with them and they managed to provide us with a room! The volunteers were settled inside this rather cramp room as it was filled with goody bags for the up coming Deepavali celebrations.

Here are some snapshots!

The briefing was rather successful, much thanks to J as she had much knowledge of the event while I was enjoying myself in Indonesia! But I'm sure it would not be possible without the contribution of everyone. Thanks guys! We managed to figure out everything and now its down to us to complete the proposal and submit it to the organisation. Hopefully it would get approved and everything progress as planned. Sigh.

P.S. I think I better start doing more stuffs, I'm like leeching x.x hahahaha

Is there a God?

Oh so today, I reached homeeee after the flight from Indonesia. Went home by cab while my mum went to meet my ahma for lunch and dabao for me. As usual I washed up and glued to my computer, thinking what to do next. Not before long, my maid came knocking on my door saying that theres someone at our door! Thinking it was just some door to door salesman I walked out with the intention of shoving him off with a classic 'parents not at home.'

So this 2 guy stood outside of my door with a classic bag that's of a property agent, but before I could throw my line he started intruding himself and talking about we are the last of our kind due to our sins or something. Then he took out his bible and asked if I was a christian and my views on the some verse in Matthew 21. As it was in chinese I had no idea where to find the verse was but, to put it crudely, its saying how the world sucks because of us and He says that the only way to save it is only us. I smiled and said nop but I mentioned about my grandmother being one. He smiled and explained the verse and asked about my views. I only nodded and said its very much true, its indeed happening everywhere. Just take for example of my short stay in Indonesia.

I guess the conversation lasted about 10 mins, but was abruptly ended when he said that I might be busy with something and I said yes. So we exchanged names and he said he would come back again sometime to talk again. Well, it seems like its one of the rare few times where 'holy' people talk to me about their religions and I had no pressure of converting or whatsoever, maybe he didn't had the intention? Haha who knows!

But it kept me thinking, thinking about how the bible may somehow be true. Could it be just mere coincidence or maybe it had been a problem since the past?

Does God even exist?

It hit me real hard this time, I don't know. Its all weird. Time will tell, right?

The last fleeting hours.

I would say it was rather pooly spent. Slept till the late evening, went to shopping center again. I'd say Jakarta aren't really an established city, poverty is still thriving across the city (or rather, the poor wealth distribution is the problem), the taxi drivers there earns peanuts. Sometimes, I just can't stand my mum bargaining just to save the 5-10k which is like a dollar? I mean, its not like we are dirt rich or whatsoever, but don't they deserve more than we do? An extra 5-10k would easily buy them an extra meal while a dollar that we have, could only buy us, say a cup of coffee?

The best had yet to come, when we were on the taxi back to the hotel, there was quite a bad jam although the trip would only take 10 mins we sat in the car for about half and hour. During the ride, many street beggars knocked on car windows to ask for money, I very much wanted to give them a lump sum of money like say 50-80k? Thinking that they could get back on their feet though this small 'gift' of mine, maybe get a proper job and not risk their life on the streets asking for money. The roads freaking dangerous I'd say, no traffic lights at all. I had to jaywalk 8 lanes to get to the other side of the street today. But I was highly trained in this by someone <:

Getting back to the beggars, in the end, I didn't even gave them a single cent, I was stuck by dilemma when the taxi driver advised me not to saying that they might swamp us and cause a worst traffic jam. At this point, I really had no idea what to do, all that's in my mind is 'what's the government doing?' The taxi driver told us that this happens everyday without fail. How can a natural resource filled country end up like this? Needless to say that I'm in the capital city and that conditions should be better! I really can't imagine how the people there living in the rural areas spent their day.

At the end of the trip the taxi charges were like 21700 but he only asked for 20, I had the sudden urge to refuse and insisted to pay him extra saying, 'kau minum kopi' gave him a smile and a nod as he drove off with a thankful face, this really made my day. Still my heart was itching about the beggars, I felt rather helpless only able to comfort, maybe deceive myself that, that's the best I could do, I am only me.

The hotel staff also left me a deep impression throughout the stay, they would never fail to greet or thank you whenever you walk past them, I would say they are exceptional people? hahaha. And yet, the hotel wasn't one of the best it was only a 4 star maybe cause of it's facilities idk. But the service there is awesome. From the chambermaids to the front desk staff they are all carrying a smile on their faces. <: But I really doubt it is the pay that made them show all this, their pay might well be crap anyways, or maybe not, I don't know. Just to put on simple note, this world may suck or maybe like what Travor said in the movie "pay it forward", 'is the world just shit?' Seriously it is, but with just a simple smile and be delighted with what you are given, I'm sure the world would become a better place. For one day, someone, somehow, would give you what you truly deserves.

grant me a million wishes

Today started all in a really funny note. I missed breakfast! walao. Its funny okay, if you don't find it funny I guess you lack some sense of humor.

Went to WTC Mangga dua. More shopping. Shopping shopping shopping. Its so packed even on a weekday, just like our very own Bugis street! And I noticed something common throughout my travels, almost every shop in every country I go would sweep the payment they received on their goods, perhaps its a sign of goodluck? Hmm, I wonder.

Lunch was amazing, I ate ayam kermer some fried chicken with a veggi chilli patty together with crumps, and my god, it was one of the best meal I had in Indonesia! Best part is it only cost 22k! which is about 3 bucks in Singapore!

To top it up, I bought some UFO pandan thingy, no idea whats the name at 1k each, its freaking nice okay, my mouth is starting to get watery .______. damn it!

Oh oh! I also had Otah, it was rather cheap, but unlike Otah in Singapore, they only had non chilli ones but it is served with peanut sauce! Just like satays right! Within seconds, all the food was gone, in the pit of my stomach. weeeee.

I spent the day looking for D's priceless gift, and and and.....

HERE IT IS

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The two of us then bunked in back to the hotel and enjoyed our dinner there, I had Beef Steak while my mum ordered friend horfan in a Swiss cafe. cool right. haha the food there is rather awesome but what is worth mentioning is their service, I doubt many restaurants in Singapore could par up to them! No doubt, it was a wonderful evening with evergreen song's sung by the local musicians.

Tense

Time to board! Bye!

My mum was so bored that she started taking random photos. .____.

Yeah now that I'm sitting in this little couch, a little reflection goes a long way right?

I'd say today was the best flight ride ever, non peak period. I had like 3 seats to myself, really comfy ride. The flight had like only 20 seats filled out of say 300? A lady on the other aisle even lied down to sleep during the flight. power -.- Started watching Front of the Class, instead of skipping the parts that I've missed during the camp, I decided to watch it all over again. Of course it didn't fail to amaze me, Brad Cohen's attitude in life but today I saw something new. It was the same scene, but it was new. He looked at how strangers could accept him without him even explaining about his disease and gladly accept the fact that when others could not accept him, he would still not be resentful.

Hope is an hard habit to break - Brad Cohen

Oh, did I mention I got a lovely letter from a dear friend. It made me grin like an idiot during the flight, my mother thought what had happened to me. Haha. At some point it mentioned about shit life, your life's great and you know it right? <: IF YOU DON'T I WOULD SHOW YOU WHAT'S SHIT LIFE! WATCH OUT.

The flight was rather a short one, didn't felt like one and a half hours at all. So I dragged my zombified self out of the seat and cleared the customs. Taxi trip to hotel? No idea, slept all the way.

Went to WTC mangga dua Square for lunch, had A&W, something that most Singaporeans would miss. After lunch we went shopping for food clothes and other random stuffs. Went back to hotel for a short nap and wash up there after.

Alright I have no idea what to blog about. :( I'd do a make up when I'm there.

Then we went out later in the evening, looking for food, this time we traveled by foot it is then did I saw something so inspiring to blog about. I saw kids, kids at the age of 8-10? working at a shop along the streets. Somehow I thought about what you said about your life in Indonesia when you were younger. SEE I DIDN'T LIE. The kids were rather happy, I could see their happy faces from afar, even in such conditions they could find joy. Maybe, if Singaporean kids were to be replaced by them, I would say that many would whine and blame it all to whosoever.

Life life life, life would be so much easier if I could live with my loved ones in the simple planes of green shades.

starstruck

Its a clear night tonight. No clouds, perfect for star gazing. But sadly in Singapore it just hard to spot even a single stars. No doubt there are flickering lights in the sky, but they are just satellites ):

To think of it, its been years since I last stood in front of these wonderful particles. One of the many great memories I had in Perth. My mother even had the chance to see a shooting star, yet I somehow was distracted and missed it. Sigh, wonder when I would see one.

How I wish life was a fairytale, a wish upon the stars and everything would come true. Just drop me a glimpse now would you. I really need to wish for hope, hope that many of my friends had diminished in this time of difficulties. Please let them tide through. (: