Turn of tides

Bad things are continuously reoccurring lately. Its all weird that most of them look so inevitable. The feeling of getting caught off guard is just not my style. I just wish that this would all end soon.

Dwindling Dream

My dream had always been to help others. Sharing, Loving, Caring. No person in this world should be deprived of these. Something that humanity should embrace upon.

Sadly, it is something not that simple.

I've been devoting much time participating in volunteering work in the past two weeks. I'd say that they all had their learning points. From baby sitting to fund raising then to house cleaning and more fundraising. What great ways to spent a weekend. I do very much realised that my actions would surly benefit those whom are in need, till...

This little conversation we had with Dorin, I could really see that in this world, it is really easy to be lead astray than to do good. She had really painted in my mind a world pitched black, a world with woes, problems leading to more problems. Something, somehow gave me a 'helpless' feeling, a feeling like no matter how much I do there would still be people whom are stuck in dip-shit, to a point where everything is like so pointless. It seems to me that I had done a lot, a lot to help others but rendering help is not a one time, two time process. It is something that required commitment, something that you do out of pure goodwill and not receiving anything in return. I do wonder what makes me so willing to help. Perhaps I already had a miracle in my life. Despite the many circumstances that I had gone through which would had eventually lead me astray, somehow I manage to workout the correct one. And yes I'm thankful for that. Many a times, at junctures where I face difficulty, someone would surely point a direction for me. Yes I'm grateful.

And for you my friend, you may had not been as lucky as I'm. Having to face what I call 'little hiccups' in life. I still remember something you said, "I believe in a person's life a person would experience equal amount of good and bad." So stick on to it, stop dwelling in the past for there is more good days to come. I'd just like to make a note that at any point, should you face any problems, dilemma, what so ever or maybe just someone to talk to. I'd gladly answer.

Perhaps I could be the "pillar of strength". (:

preocupado

I SHALL RANT! >:(

Hi you, yes you, don't go mia and said nothing happened again. I was worried stiff, noticed that I would usually be more of concern than worried. But yes, as the hours passed my brain starting going bonkus and the usual optimistic mind of mine had ran away. Bad thoughts started filling my mind. Maybe if I hadn't took a glimpse when you were crossing the road all this would not had happened. Questions of 'what if's...' started popping out in my mind, real nasty ones. An optimism mind is something really had to gain, yet it is something really easy to be lost. Perhaps like what you had said about Janney, I too had also lost this mentality.

Oh well, at least you're fine now. Well, at least you said you're, but if you're not please please please, do share. I'd gladly listen. For now. I'm just wondering when I could actually have my lunch.

kids again

Thinking back of my childhood days two person had always been vividly captured in my brain. I guess my childhood has been one that one could call 'bittersweet' perhaps, if it hadn't met with turbulence where my dad passed away. I would not have had such a great relationship with this two person.

1. Uncle Mike

To my dearest uncle, you had been one great person in my life. Together with my then Aunt, the both of you took great care of me especially when my mother was busy working. Although I was often send packing to here and there for sleepovers you were the one that actually gave me family warmth. I could still remember the two of us staying up late just to shoot some turkeys in South Park and that Christmas present you had for me its still lying intact in my room. Perhaps, you may have changed now, to someone better, a loving father of two, or otherwise. But still, in my heart you would always be the same old uncle that I had.

2. Crystal Yeo

She had been a great friend. Perhaps our 'common plight' brought us together. I'm sure we had many wonderful moments together. Minus-ing all unnecessary details, I would like to give you my heartfelt thanks for making my childhood a memorable one. And hopefully our friendship would go for years to come.

All this came about when I was doing the childminding programme yesterday. I guess it had been an overall successful event and would not had been possible without the help of lovely volunteers. So thankyou. Without this event maybe I would have never thought of my childhood again. I'm starting to think that I'm naturally well loved by kids. I don't know, but the feeling they gave me, it's so warmth. Its the first time that I had actually organised an event with a group of unknown people, so I guess I really took back a lot from this. Something that I would call, learning from mistakes. Taking a step back to look, think and evaluate. I'm sure it would be better next time.

hysterical laughter

Yesterday is memory. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

today had been a lovely day. rushed to econs lecture early in the morning with a mouthful of peanuts. Something special happened today...

Thinking that the class would break into our usual cliques and each have our lunch. We actually went out in a whole big group to have lunch together. A whole lot of us, all together. Lunch, was, awesome.

After lunch, we went back to school to continue little chats while waiting for our CDS to start, the usual awkwardness broke down as countless conversations started pouring in. I have to agree, I'm starting to love my class a lot. Perhaps, I'm not heartless. hmm...

Then I went off to do little bits of my psychology project with my group, another group of lovely people. Everyone seems exceptionally friendly today! We could actually get along, and even started little chats on our life. The meeting ended about 10 minutes later as we found out that there isn't much to be done I then went back to my class while the rest made their way to have lunch.

Soon, it was almost two. And we had to make our way to our respective classrooms. I actually had quite a few opportunities to talk to D today. Not to say that we hated each other but rather, we are those hi, bye friends. Yup, after our casual talk on the way to our CDS, I'm starting to feel that shes actually a cheerful and friendly person.

Like always, Psychology tutorials are the most engaging lessons ever! Ms Emilia is a mad lovable teacher. And OMG I think I'm a genius, I could actually remember 15 items from a short memory test after being read only once. I was the only one in the class that did it WAHAHAHA. ._. okay perhaps, I'm not that smart, I subconsciously applied mnemonic to help me remember. <: Class was soon over after we submitted our video to the project and I left with JK to one stop and wait for miss little sotong to end her class.

We then went around loitering as she insisted that I should have my dinner before I head home as there was no dinner at home. And knowing that I would not leave house to buy dinner. So I got poked everywhere while we went to Simei and the malls in tamp to 'shop' for our Christmas gifts. Still, I had absolutely no idea what to get for her. Sigh.

Perhaps, this may be the reason for not being able to receive Christ.... hmm...

Hazy Melodramatic

Today I've heard stories about how life is rather cruel. A young lady whom sold her child away. And a grandmother lying dearly sick in bed. But what is there to complain?

I was wondering deep in my mind, how could someone actually sells her own child away to another. Imagine your own mother selling you away. We all say that life is priceless, so much for that. But, taking another perspective, who knows what had the mother went through? She could have jolly well aborted the baby and be held not responsible. Yet, she choose to give life and then shoved the responsibility away. Who am I to say which is a better decision? Perhaps she had done her best to salvage the situation. But I'm sure the vague image of her child imprinted in her mind would haunt her forever.

A loving grandmother that was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. How unfair is that? Someone whom had worked tirelessly her whole life to support the family, don't she least deserve some filial piety from her children. A well deserved reward. Yet she has to be placed in a procedure this friday. I just pray that she would pull through.

A perfect display of irony in life. I wonder how mine would be. Hmm... Perhaps, Disney story's are all just nothing but a fairytale which would never happen.

Great it's 2:26am. I can't sleep after a text came in. :(

Shores of the Moons

Today had been a really mundane day, I could just slept the whole day if my clique didn't ask me out. I could really say that the rain was a huge turnoff. But eventually I was dragged out of house. On my way to the train station my umbrella flipped and holes started to form. Drenched. ): Yup yup, the initial plan to visit AFA failed, so we just traveled to simei, tamp and pasir ris to do window shopping. I could say it's really one of the failed outings. But oh well, we still got to catch up and that what made everything perfect.

Despite being really down, cause I was listed as a number 1 irritant. I shall try not to rant. >:(

After much theoretical thinking of mine. I have came up with certain facts that proves nose pinching is actually beneficial!

Theory 1, prevents nosetrills from growing bigger. so you won't stiff up bad stuffs!

Theory 2, the pressure allows blood flow! so it won't freeze!

Theory 3, it makes your nose grow taller!

Theory 4, stuff won't come out from your nose, cause you would sniff everything in after each pinch!

Theory 5, pinching noses does not make me weird, cause I'm perfectly normal ):

As conclusion this sucks. ): I just realised I'm not making any sense, but to get you to bed I shall just post this and not delete anymore.

Body aches ):

Requiem of dream

So here's what you get,
A bottle that's filled with hearts and stars that are flat
You may not comprehend its meaning yet
But i hope you'll look at it when you are sad

The stars are just like hope
Giving you will so you can cope
Sprinkled with glitter, and so they shine
I hope with them, you'll soar up high

The stars are just like dreams
Filling the skies which are bursting at the seams
If you fail, just look up high
Smile and say 'i'll do just fine'

The hearts are just like love
A gift you have, which i believe, since birth
Spread the love, and your arms to others
Just like all other loving fathers

The hearts are just like joy
A feeling toddlers get when they receive a toy
Always be happy even when you are down
Because being sad will only make you frown

Stay strong in everything you do
It may be hard, but i believe in you
Do not give up when all else is failing
And all you will soon get is a successful feeling

So for a lovely friend like you
Stop pinching me before i give you the 'boo'
Realising my poem doesn't make any sense
I just want to say 'happy 11/11, my wonderful friend!'

Hm, a poet to be.
I realised we got a common flaw, thinking that we don't make sense. HAHA. hm, actually maybe we don't. Running around like idiots. :) oh well.
Sometimes, I just can't help but wonder why I didn't get to talk to you much when we were younger. Haha.

Tinkles of happiness?

God knows what a girl is thinking.

Hm. Are you angry? Like seriously. If you're angry...

I'm sorry :(

But..

HAHAHAHAHA. You're not right? :(

I shall hope, pray and wish.
Oh, happy 11/11/11!

SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT PLEASE, I CAN'T SLEEP.

F for faith.

:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3

Smile! :3

bailed out on me.

Sigh, everything seems to be fine till this annoying little text came in. Perhaps, its a reminder. :)

Let's just go ahead and let what come may come.

And now I'm left thinking what I could get with a dollar.

Compendium of Illusionism

a perfect illustration of ....

C'est la vie

I dreamt of a perfect world. It was so realistic, every inch is detail is seeded in my brain just as if I had really experienced it.

It all started with a lovely day where I left house to buy a meal for myself, somehow I had a bicycle and went to buy food at the nearby hawker. Surprising it was owned by my chemistry teacher! Omg?

Oh, and before that I left my wallet on my bicycle, it was filled with cash, and I just left it there open. But of course, the money would be gone when I'm back right? Yes, it was gone, and there's even a note saying 'it's empty! <3' yup I was robbed woohoo. Didn't felt angry or anything!

BUT just when I was checking to see if I have lost anything else, I saw a 50 dollar note in the other compartment of my wallet, which wasn't suppose to be there. weird.

Then came across mellow field. It wad a land of green painted with shades of purple lavenders. Far ahead was a little cottage.

And this is where my annoying alarm clock started to ring I woke up with a smile finding myself stuck in reality again. Perhaps, one day we would all find our lives, made much more simple. More fulfilling.

This post may make no sense. Its just a little bit of me grumbling about life :3

But to think of it, say god gave us a choice to choose and not be a mindless being. I guess life might not be that interesting without the downsides right?

POINT IS I WAS MARKED ABSENT TODAY :( sigh.

Hi.

If life was a dream. It would be a land of pig brains!

:)

Silent Voyages

It the midst of the week, many things had happened. Life has been colorful so far, just a few more days I'd be stumped with questions of God again. Could this be what they meant by God's will. Well then I might just well look forward to this weekend then. <: Perhaps, God would guide me.

Oh while uploading the clouds formation which I took days ago I also found this beautiful photo in my phone! I'd name it ''The Name's Tale''

.....drum rolls.....

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TADAH!

HAHA, there, the very first picture in your new spectacles. Don't you think you look awesome? I know you want to thank me. Welcome, don't mention it. <: oh, if you want to know why I name it that way please cook me a meal to ''unlock'' the answer.

Leap of faith.

November had always been a fun month, its has always been a pre- holiday month to me. But not this year. Not especially when exams are just weeks away.

It is time to take a step, wake up and leap into faith. All would be better. :)