What the hell

Crying for the fucking dumbest reason. And I dont even know why.

Can someone please tell me what is happening? Coz I feel like dying right now.

If my life was a storybook

I wonder which genre it would be. Would you be in that story. Or would you be the protagonist that would give me a sweet warm home or an antagonist that would make my life meaningless or would you be a nobody.

If only we knew, right?

Melding the sadness

I wonder why am I so particularly disturbed tonight. Maybe I might be suffering from an emotional breakdown.

It's as though I don't understand how this world works anymore, 19 years and growing yet I still have no clue. There's just so much question on my mind right now. So much so that all these unhappy thoughts are lurking in and I'm torn asunder.

They say relationships grows a person, yet I have no clue as to what might happen in the future, I can't differentiate what's right or wrong anymore. I'm lost. The next step seems too far away to even vision in my mind.

I realised I never had to handle failures in a way that many other people faces problem with. But disappointment is something I can't seem to adapt with, it feels surreal yet in reality it is there. Real, deadly and painful.

I wonder how long would this feeling linger, may it be gone soon and let me have peace. Life would've been so much better if there were someone whom truly understands.

If you could see me.

Dear you,

Sorry for walking away like that. I couldn't face it.

I'm extremely upset that im treated like this, it feels as though whats left of my little positivity is slowly being drained away. I don't really mind if anyone said those words to me, it doesn't really matter. But you're my emotional support, my partner, I expect you to give me that support I need. Not to run me down like this, fine, you may say that it was mean't to be a joke. It hurts.

So please, if you're not gonna encourage me, please do not criticize me.

oh well, if you see this give me a call or sth?

love you.

Letters To Heaven

Heeeeeeeey. How are you doing? Its almost the 19th year since you first saw me. I must have brought you so much smile since mummy always told me how much you wanted a boy. I miss you so much. How I wish you were right here right now, with us celebrating my birthday as a family. If only words could bring you back, how I wish that would really happen. I guess life would really be that different, maybe I would've persuaded you to quit smoking by now. Maybe I would've gotten encouragement, love and care from you. Maybe I would've you to share my the joy of my future achievements with.

To be honest, trying to recall the time I had with you were as though chasing a fleeting shadow on a cloudy day. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to remember any of it. That must have been what the pain we have gone through to let you go. But, I'm sure it was time well spent. Two years, seeing me grow everyday, working hard just to provide for me, I'm sure you must have loved me a lot right? Yeah... I'm sure.
I love you too.

I guess it would've been known by you by now that I'm an ambitious person. I don't want to live the life as a majority. I want to be someone special. They all say that people my age are all ambitious, and that the majority would wake up from their dream by the age of 35. But I wouldn't give up chasing my dream, let that be a promise to you. I will be successful. One day, when I grow old, maybe I would fumble through this post and realise that it was you that have given me strength to press on. It was you that made me whom I am today, and that it was you that made me to whom I am in the future.

today.

oh well.

hi.

i am gonna start.

but you're gonna be angry again.

i hate you.

you're always angry with me

especially when you ask me to tell you things then you angry

and if i dont tell you things you you also angry

what to do sia.

walau.

you suck la

bad bobo

bad

bad

bad

bad

bad

to redeem yourself. please sue my neighbor for playing mahjong.

BAD.

I AM ANGRY

TODAY I AM ANGRY WITH BOBO.

REASONS:

SHE IS DUMBO
SHE IS FAT
SHE IS THIN
SHE IS UGLY
SHE IS CHIO
SHE IS BEAUTIFUL
SHE IS FUGLY
SHE IS HAPPY
SHE IS SAD
SHE IS "NONE OF MY BUSINESS" MODE
SHE IS ALWAYS ASKING "BUBU WHY YOU SO SIAN" AND NOT ENTERTAINING ME
SHE IS TIRED
SHE IS ROLL ROLL ROLL
SHE IS BUY DONUTS TO FEED ANTS
SHE HAS UGLY HAIR
SHE HAS BEAUTIFUL HAIR
SHE HAS UGLY NOSE
SHE HAS BEAUTIFUL NOSE
SHE HAS NOSE HAIR
SHE OWES ME 5 MINS OF TICKLING
SHE IS GRUMPY
SHE IS NOT WAKING UP.

DONE.

MORE TO GO. NO IDEAS. ANYTHING ASK ME.

P.S. I LOVE YOU. PLEASE DO NOT HATE ME. YOU DUMB DUMB. AND STOP MAKING ME SAD. DUMB DUMB. LOVE YOU SO MUCH DUMB DUMB.

Reasons

I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
I WONT....

but I can't, it's the reason why I love you.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

Well, I guess this is one of those situation which common sense can't explain. Let us just experience the enchanting memories that are to be shared.

Time fading away.

Seems like this is it. Nothing left to say, nothing left to talk about. Let's just wait and see if the ending is just as predicted.