a complete family.

I was never fortunate enough to be given this, but like what my grandma told be a few days ago, god is fair he takes something and gives something. So I found this rather true I was born in a broken yet happy family. All this would not have been possible with my dearest mother that no word in the dictionary could explain her. Hi mom, I love you.

To the friend that inspired me to write this, I am thankful of you and hope you could achieve what I am given soon. It took me a long long time to accept the fact that my dad was gone. I could still remember that in the past, when someone asks me about my dad, even close friends, I'd give an awkward smile and just pay lip service. But now I had the courage to refute about how one could be unhappy if we were unfortunally born in an incomplete family. True we may not be given the privilege but I'm sure we are given something in exchange for it.

I could sweetly say that

yes, I may not have a complete family but I am happy.

little life stories.

Woke up duper early today to attend some youthville event at tampines central god, it was BORING. We woke up so early just to drag ourselves there and did practically nothing.

Today a day that I did something that I've never done before. Door-to-Door salesman. Selling Children Day tickets. and somehow, I managed to sell 1 of the 2 tickets sold! woohoo, great achievement. :D Thanks Aunty!

So the sale was officially declared a fail and ginger went on harping about how stupid and boring the event is, which I totally agree. So we all went back to the center. And again we were outcasted everyone was in the room and the two of us just set outside on the little couch we were so bored that we eventually started singing? and poking each other.

After WS bought the chickenwings that we ordered we went into the room to consume it, and from that I gave the rating of a 3/10 solely due to the chicken wings that I ate. It was rather tasty maybe cause I was too hungry. x.x

While I was noming the wings, we started poking each other again to pop the 'can we leave now?' question. I bet anyone could see how bored we were. And yes, we finally left. Moving to prime mart to meet Henry for our tuition prelims that is to be done tomorrow. sigh. (oh he just dropped by to pass me our p1 questions!)

So miss fickle minded started to go on and on changing between sleeping and movie. and finally she decided on the movie but had to clean her room (hi, if you're reading your room is awesome :D). and we played resident evil on her brother's ps3 which I obviously won. wee.

Then we left her house and went to Tm for my dinner and then we went to ntuc to buy her sis sweets, there after we climb stairs to the cinema and bought our nachos and stood like idiots waiting for the sitting to begin as we wanted to rush in at first instance.

Johnny English seemed like a replica of Mr Bean. But, I guess only Rowan Atkinson can play this role that well, and applause to him for making this movie as funny as it could be! After a really long day, I guess I deserve my rest.

There we go, my very own personal recount of the day. :D

missteps.

a little story that I've heard today.

Pencil: I'm sorry
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

Sometimes, I just hate this world. Its just
too unfair.

My Dear Friend

I hope you are doing alright. The feeling of helplessness just bothers me too much. But since I am not you, I won't really know how you are feeling and could only provide advice. That's the best I could do, I am sorry.

I know how much bad I fair at comforting people, but please, please, please promise me you would be fine.

You had tide through many hurdles in life and I have seen you do it. Surely this would not bring you down, and you know it. take care and all the best for your exams.

maggi mee!

Woo as I am eating now. I suddenly had the urge to write about it.

Hi maggi, thanks for feeding me when I am hungry and had nothing else to eat. Cooking you is such an easy task! just 2 minutes in the boiling water and wala! Oh yes, thanks for making my hair drop too, or so they say.(my hair didn't drop :D)

But, today's maggi tasted so much different from the usual ones that I cooked. Its cooked with the extra bit of love from a loving mother. Knocking off from work at wee hours and yet, offered to cook me supper. Hi mum, i love you. thanks for everything.

:D

Why is life so great :D despite everything falling apart.

teacher for a day

time seems to fly so quickly today, maybe cause I slept till 3pm today. haha

So my uncle called me last night asking me to give tuition to my cousin! Primary 3, cute boy and I could even see himself in me when I was younger. BUT, maths was definitely not his forte! ):

As like all kids, getting them to settle down is one major problem, especially to study. As a kid, I myself often dreaded exercise books which my mum would pile them up on my table and asking me to do them. But, its only that I realized her hard work to 'force' me to do my work actually had positive effects on me, I could actually teach!

So it took quite a while to settle him down but I manage to bribe him by telling him that I'd bring him out after we are done with the session! (: So we started off with simple sums, and it is then did I realize that our education system had indeed improved! The freaking questions were at standards of P5-6 at my time. We then continued to go through problem sums that I bought earlier on from bookshop at Bedok Point from some DuYi bookshop or something. And I felt so bad when I stumped on some questions not that I am proud or anything but hey! Last time my maths band 1 all the way okay! :\

Yes, explaining is indeed harder then doing. The questions were mostly attempt-able but due to his poor foundation I had to spent extra time going through the basics and hopefully he had gasped most of them in the short session today! Which I think he did ._. he scored 17/20 for a simple test I made for him :D Looks like I can take up teaching next time :D

Unlike having tuition sessions, time flew so fast when I am guiding him. When I checked my watch I found out it had already been about 3 hours, instead of the 2 that he had initially promised! I was glad that he was actually learning from me cause I was interesting (he said it) and not cause of the 'bribe'. So we packed up and with the 20 bucks my uncle paid me, I brought him out to the nearby Mac and we had fries for high-tea so high class right? We then spent the rest of the money at the arcade weeeee..

Then it was time to send him home, on the way back he asked this..

when would be our next session?

How often do you get a tutee asking for more tuition sessions! Haha. So I told him to ask his father if he wishes to continue and told him today was only a 'try out' lesson after all. I waved him goodbye at his doorstep and took the train home.

Having been a teacher for 1 day, I somehow understood how every teacher would want to give their best to their student no matter whats their method, strict, fun, interesting or even redgit methods. All of them have the same end results, to being the best out of their students. As such, I would really wish to thank all the teachers that had taught me for all of my education years. Ms Tan,Ms Ang, Ms Teo, Ms Ang, Mr Seow, Ms Yao, Mr Teo, Mr Sim, Mdm Low and many many more. Oh yes and Henry Wong Teck Heng. Thank you all for making me what I am, I know I might but be the best student but you are all my best teachers.

See see! from the fact that I could remember all of your names just tells how much you guys means to me Haha. Hope I'd live to your expectations!

not the ordinary house visit

Today was yet another day spent with my lovely friends from secondary school.

Its been a few weeks since I last saw them, being busy with school and stuffs. It took really a hell a lot of planning for today to work out. Everyone was busy in JC and stuffs. Sigh, seems like its true that the older we get, the busier we become. We might well better cherish all the time we have now to slack and enjoy life.

Woke up freaking early today, at like 10 plus. So I'm kind of dead right now. Still I shall write whats left in my little pea brain here.

So I took the train to Pasir Ris today early in the morning, really reminded me of how I dreaded going to school on the same old train everyday. Especially when it passed by my school, all the memories, it seemed to flood into my mind. I could still remember that if I'm fortunate (yes, fortunate, cause I was always late and had to climb flights of stairs as punishment) I would meet my friend on-board and have a constant chatter on the way to school.

So yeah, I reached Pasir Ris and ate lunch with my friends, it felt as thought time went backwards and we were sec one again. Haha, happy times. On the way to my friend's house we had the opportunity to take the exact same route to school that would seem to go on and on and on and on. although its only about a 5 mins walk. We started teasing one another about how fast we would walk ,or rather run when we were late for school. UNTIL NOW I STILL THINK THE PUNISHMENT SUCKS LA, after climbing don't know how many times I can still be late :D and I'm proud of it.

-the best part of the day-

16 floors of stairs to climb, cause the bloody lift was on maintenance. awesome workout. I think the late 'punishment' really help me in climbing stairs now a days, I don't feel a thing except for being thirsty :\ Haha. Thanks Mr Abu Baka, for making me late like at least 2 times a month?

K I'm tired of typing anything else, if i have the mood I'd edit it.

So we went on playing games, talking about school times and had mac delivery. It really makes me wish that we could see each other everyday, just like old times but true its not possible. Not that time would allow. Neither would it work out that way, this is how the world works. We could only say that fate had brought us together to spent this wonderful day together.

life's a dream

Today is one of the many boring sundays. Woke up rather early today, went to church with my grandma and attended service. Although I am not a Christian myself, church sessions are always meaningful to me as I could always learn something new.

Reached home, cooped myself in the room and started gaming, which I lost like mad today. sigh. And now, I am trying my very best to 'un-screw' my blogskin which is screwed badly by me woohoo.

Mummy coming home soon! lets hope I can finish this before she gets back and shove me off the computer.

later today would be yet another boring day. Hope not. :)

Mid autumn festival @ TP!

Amiss the celebration I received my 'awesome' gpa of 2.5. I told everyone whom asked me and said I was fine but deep down I felt horrible, it seemed as thought it was the end of my education.

Simply put, 2.5 = no more local universities no matter how much I score in the next 2 and a half years. This just crashed upon me. I was listless, needless to say not wanting to attend the celebration later in the evening.

But still, I attended it.

I would say that the night was great, the elderly enjoyed themselves, all the planning weren't gone to waste. Volunteers had the opportunity to interact with the elderly and I would say that their efforts were commendable!

Due to the lack of volunteers VLs were also tasked to befriend the elderly and I got this old grandpa, Mr Wilson Yap. He was in his 80s yet strong and very much active so we chatted and surprisingly we could get along. He had taught me many lessons in life and how he lived his life. Im sure, with his words I would be able to live better. I would say that I was enlightened. Thank you Mr Yap. I'd miss you.

Went on with more debrief, bought dinner and went home with my lovely friends :)

so I've found out. Now what?

Dug through loads and loads of solicitor letters pertaining to claims information and other stuffs.

And most importantly the coroners report.

What is this? An act of misadventure? when the guy obviously was speeding evidenced by eye witnesses. True the green lights were in favor of the 'potential defendent'.

Maybe, just maybe if my mum had pressed on and brought the matter to court a fairer judgement would be passed.

But what could be done now. Its been so long. 14 long years. all I could say is that I'm glad I actually dug for the files and read through. I was oblivious, but no longer.

No one is to be blamed, all had been answered for and nothing could be changed. I guess its time for me to let it go, bothered me long enough, farewell.

Rest in peace 270596.

Cherish what you have, others may not be as fortunate.

the truth.

Why, can't I just ask the question. Its such a simple question, yet I just can't say it out. Am I afraid of the truth?

That's it I shall probe the question on friday evening after the lantern festival in school. Hope I'd get the desired answer.

ungrateful.

''think of what is given and not what we are not given'' I have often be thought to think this way. Its one statement that makes the life much easier. No complains, no troubles, no worries. Just by thinking of what we are given.

But it has come to me that it not possible. If we have this mindset, words like 'better' would never exist.

Sometimes what you want isn't always what you get, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted. this is so true.

Family Warmth

I really envy how my uncles could always find time to make it back for dinner every weekend. It is seem as a previlege to many. Yet at home my marital grandmother eats alone, none came back for the weekly family dinner. When was the last time I wonder... So long that I've forgotten. And all this happened caused of one simple fallout. Let time be the judge and I shall pray to see such a day again.

uncertain future

"o" levels English oral is just a couple of days away coupled with that, something. I only wish for everything to be fine.

That aside, my poly results are going to be released on the 16th! just one day after my orals. Please let me do well, this might well decide my future. With those shit results I would never get into a university and there goes my dream into becoming lawyer. Life is indeed harsh.

ciao.

Pillar of Light

To that special someone, you're an inspiration to my life.

We might not have met for long, but your personality, it just amaze me. Whenever I come across problems and dilemma in life, you would always try your best to advice, help and comfort me. Hearing about your past, just saddens me. You told me how you and your family lived in poverty conditions until you migrated to Hong Kong.

Sometimes I see you as a split image of me. How we lost our dads at young age. How we trouble free. How we lived our lives. How we are both helpful to the extent that sometimes people take advantage of us and yet we are still rent less and try to do our best to help.

Not only your advice are helpful, you always provide me with alternatives to guide me although we are of the same age I must admit, you are indeed wiser than me. Often awed by your character you serve as a role model. Leading me through many obstacles I face in life.

I wish to only say Thank You and only wish that our friendship would last for a long, long time. I could say that I have been fortunate to be given a friend, A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.

life's a journey

Its been a fun week I would say. seems as though I had experience what someone would experience in an whole lifetime. sadness, sorrow, happiness, whatever, you name it. As the week pass I have learnt how fragile a person could be, be it mentally or physically.

Could such be the wonders of life?

Hopefully, I would get a good night rest today and have a great day tomorrow. Loads to do.

Life is very short and what we have to do must be done in the now.

i pray for your happiness.