Memory Lane

Well, today has been like a journey back to 11 years ago. It's funny how everything didn't change. Except the fact that the white hair started sprouting and a few wrinkles. Funny I must say but it is indeed nostalgic.

Looking at the little children, its really hard to imagine how little in size we were in the past, and how we grew in this short decade. Perhaps, it is a reminder that we had indeed grown up, both physically and mentally for some while others, physically, no pun intended.

It was rather interesting that Ms Teo still has that stern attitude towards everything, I must say that she has to be those non compromising type of teacher, not something bad though! The way she spoke to us just now was as though she was speaking to small little children, it felt weird, a feeling that even I couldn't decipher.

Ms Ong didn't really age though, she's still shows some sort of stern motherly care towards her students. I must say that she has really thought me a lot during my first two years in lower primary. Maybe because she shown favoritism towards me.

Mr Seow, same old same old, just a many many white hairs spotted on his sideburns, hahaha old man. Guess I'm next. ):

Well for you My dear, despite how long or wide we grow I'm sure my love for you will only grow more and more and more. <3

With much love. I thank you all (:

Mundane.

Today is a boring day.

I have decided to type 'I am board' 100 times.

here goes...

I am board
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P.S. I love you. (:

Sigh.

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Learnt Helplessness

It's been a while since I last posted. But I just thought I could perhaps spend more time missing you then typing. Well okay, I guess that's a lame excuse.

It's 3am now and I have no idea why I am still awake. I couldn't help myself but to think why can't I think of anyway to help you, to a point that I don't even know how to make you feel better. Still, I'd like you to know that whatever it is I'd be standing right next to you rooting for you. You have my word darling.

It's really funny how I just might know the problem but yet unable to do anything. I know it's about your dad. I know you're struggling to figure out what does your dad really mean to you. Is he just someone that is just a 'dad' by name or a dad whom loved you.

Hearing the many stories you told me about your dad and the conversations you had with your grandma. I was convinced that your dad might not have that much of a fatherly love towards you and even your siblings, still I would always tell you that 'after all he is your father and whatever he does you still have to acknowledge him and respect him.' But seeing you feeling hurt time and again because of the various incidents, I can't help but really hope that you would cut off all ties with him and let the matter fade away.

Surely from my understanding of you, I'm sure you won't resort to this, both you and I know that deep down you still haven't given up on your father. I could see that you really wish that he would change for the better to give you all the deserving love that is righteously yours. You couldn't help but pray that he is living well while serving his time and hoping that he would really repent. You loved him and hope that he would love you just as much.

But now. You're feeling more undaunted from the actions of your father, he had another wife and even had a child with her. You could feel that your feelings you had for your father is slowly fading away but yet you just couldn't bear to let go. While trying to numb yourself and forget about your father, you started thinking about all the negatives that you had with your father. How you were told that your father actually wanted to abort you. How he walked out of the family and went to other women. And how he contacted you and your siblings only in the need for money. Not forgetting the multiple times where he lied to you and leaving you to wonder what he is trying to hide from you.

Till this point, I know that you're lost, you don't really know what to do. I could safely say that even if I were in your shoes I won't know what to do. I'd be at lost just like you. I'd try my best to find answers to all my questions that I had but it seems like no matter how hard I try there are no answers. I won't be able to find a reason to why my father would have walked out on the family.

I understand that you're upset and maybe I won't understand you. All these that I've typed may not be even true. There is one thing I wish that you would keep in mind. You're never alone. I will be here with you. I promise.

P.S.
I love you. always

For Blessing Me Much More Than I Deserve

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer (Matthew 21:22 NIV)

My Dear, if you could still remember what happened yesterday night; you asked why I am emoing. I was praying, praying for us, and many other things. And just about instantly we both started sobbing just cause of a simple statement that I said. Immediately I could feel this crestfallen bitterness within me and it came out as tears in my eyes. We ended up crying for a long time before we started to talk. At that point, I already knew that this was a work of God.

Somehow, right now, I'm wondering about this "Alter call" thing to "offer" myself before God. It made me feel like the Spirit of God is everywhere He is never late God and would divinely protects us. I guess it is an inexplicable feeling for my relationship with God as a young Christian but it is something special, something that is out of this world.

God has answered my prayer, my prayer to grow in God and our relationship. After we cried, the sign of relief where we spoke and understood each other better felt just so great. I guess He was trying to tell me to love you more and that you are the one. Truly, after this incident I could really feel, just almost immediately that our relationship grew and I could understand you deeper.

I thank You, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit for this divine encounter with You last night. This event would mark as a milestone to know You more.

New Year's Eve

I'm starting to think that I really had no life before I met you. No wait, got close to you. I guess that must be the best thing that had happened in my life so far.

So today as new year's eve, the day that I had waited anxiously weeks before after we dated each other. I spent the last day of 2011 wonderfully with Desiree reflecting on the past year and our lives at MBS. The fireworks greeted us after a silent countdown. They were really beautiful. The 8 minutes fireworks made me feel like Singapore is wasting taxpayers' money. But, they were really beautiful!

And... My New Year wish was finally granted. now i''m a happy boy. Thanks for everything please let happiness pour into the life of all living things.

So, here's Christmas.

Well, I'm not someone whom is fond on comparing but.... this year's Christmas was extraordinary.

Cause I got to spent it with....

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. oops wrong one! :D

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with this awesome friend :D

So, here's what happened....

we got together in this three days...

the -1 day of Christmas, was spent walking around city area looking for lights. After we had our xmas service and lunch. I'm glad that this cheerful idiot decided to bring me along to spend christmas with me. To be hosnest, to date, christmas has never been anything important to me. Besides being invited to xmas parties, its just a normal day to me. So yeah, I was overjoy when the day came to an end as we snuggled in our santa hat and walk all the way back to the train station to catch our train back home. At the same time, my heart was dampened, I realized i had no plans for tomorrow! and how it would let down my friend.

The 1st day of Christmas, the morning was well spent of sleeping as my dear friend had somehow fall sick and had giddy spells, as i woke up, i rushed off to ikea to prepare my little surprise. By the time i got home, I had to start preparing for the first surprise of the day, a mini amazing race. Grabbed my markers to draw directions and quickly prepared the prize. She was cursing me by the time she found me, but lucky my hand cooked noodles made her smile and this is when i thought i really suck at planning such stuffs. bleah. The day was later spend in church and we had our dinner somewhere, i cant really remember. But the night was spent in festival park lightning candles, but a huge gust of wind wiped out everything so we had to make do without the flames. Still, Christmas was memorable as we took many photos together, and acted like a couple, teasing each other on the way.

The 2nd day of Christmas, as she had projects to do, I was able to sleep in that day and around 5, we met at festival park for our little boxing day, it was a mess, literally, we started smearing cakes on each other's face and soaking each other with the little bottle of water we bought at the nearby minimart. The two of us were just like little kids that would never grow up. As the sun set, we bought our dinners and headed home.

Well, that summarized my Christmas.

and to my dear then crush, now girlfriend.

i love you, forever and always.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

Its funny how just taking one step, everything may just change. No, I'm not talking about small changes but changes which would change everything. Ironically just one wrong step would be the end.

I'm very much a strong believer of predestine, everything is planned. But that won't stop me from fighting for what I really what. And even if I don't get what I want I would still pick myself up with a smile and get over with it. For at the end of the day, what's most important is the process of learning and not the result.

Oh, Christmas was of cause awesome, spending with the special someone <: I will come up with the updates soon! Promise!